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I Just Wanna Roll Dice

This campaign will be a slow, tedious, online version of the less-slow, somewhat-less-tedious live tabletop pen and paper games of a bygone era. Why play in a beautiful, immersive 3D environment when you can type out your actions and execute them asynchronously along with the rest of the group and get your results sometime next Saturday, assuming I even remember to check?

The following immutable laws will be in effect at all times:

  • If you can interact with it, you can kill it.
  • If you can interact with it, it will probably kill you.
  • Most items which introduce new powers or abilities will not be beneficial to PC’s
  • No encounters are balanced in any way. If you aren’t terrorized/frustrated, I’m not doing my job
  • Hirelings and Henchmen are for finding traps and hauling loot, not for more stories
  • It takes roughly fifty minutes to travel 50 yards when you are indoors.
  • There is a 20% chance every sixty to eighty steps you take you’ll be surprised by a wandering gang of monsters
  • Towns are for selling loot, and even that is abstracted to out of game downtime transactions
  • All treasure is random, usually very heavy or difficult to transport
  • 10ft Pole is the most useful item in the game
  • The best treasures are found by crawling through winding tunnels less than 10ft wide
  • Wind and rain are spontaneously caused by lit torches and lanterns

All of these laws are immutable, except in the case of GM Fiat. This is not a contradiction, but a manifestation of GM Infallibility. Like the Pope, I can retcon any ruling and have both versions be perfect and true.

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Kill, Loot, Repeat Knucklehead Knucklehead